Liquid Gold. Or Something.

July 18, 2013

I would like to attribute my recent blog hiatus to a spate of illness. I have actually been surprisingly healthy over the last two years considering how many environmental factors indicate otherwise why I should have many forms of severe cancer by now (oh, you know, an explosive microwave, cultural customs of extreme sharing, and mold of titanic proportions e-ver-y-where just to name a delightful few). But of course, with less than a month to go, Paraguay had to have its say.

The adventure began with a raging fever, miserable body aches, and a dry, itchy cough. By virtue of timing and a high volume of work, rest was simply not an option. My body exacted violent revenge on this rebellion and my symptoms evolved into an extreme strain of the flu that progressively worsened over the course of a week and a half. I felt like digested bacon.

At the two week-mark, I had a world monopoly on mucus production and if coughs could kill, I could have won wars. Singlethroatedly. Seven giant boxes of tissues later, I still had not turned the tide towards healing. So I finally schlepped myself over to the doctor for my first time in Paraguay. Let us not speak of woozily taking buses and walking about town.

The notoriously conservative doctor known especially for his hesitance to prescribe medication immediately put me on six days of antibiotics and double dosage of codeine cough syrup. My fling with the flu had now blossomed into a “complicated viral infection” with benefits. And not the good kind.

Unfortunately, this was not the beginning of the end either. Day one of meds messed me UP. I spent half the day in bed curled in a fetal position, moaning about my stomach disintegrating and wondering how on earth I’m going to get through childbirth. Later in the evening, I just about coughed both lungs up and then some before S forced a tablespoon of honey (yuck) down my throat to keep the tickle at bay.

Day two has been waiting for Seltz to deliver my 20L filtered water and resorting to consuming tap water. Well, almost. When I saw this come out of my kitchen faucet in blasting fury, everything made so much sense.

IMAG0651Not a cocktail. Not apple cider. Just Paraguayan tap.


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