Lo’s Kitchen: Barbarians.

April 23, 2013

Both of my parents come from large families of five siblings. I have always loved the loud, boisterous gatherings we had growing up–so many personalities, so many different houses to visit, so much food, and so much love. My one regret was not having any cousins my age, but there were plenty of little minions to boss around and frankly, that was perfect for my domineering oldest child tendencies.

Now that I am older, I only find more reasons to cherish being part of such a tight-knit extended family. It is a massive and priceless support network of people who have been an important part of my life from either my birth or theirs, and also a source of endless entertainment. Sometimes I get sad that my brother and I are only two and B and his brother the same, and that unless we all pump out children like we’re Mormons with no tomorrow, our kids will likely grow up with significantly smaller reunions.

This may have engendered the occasional big family aspiration. Fortunately (or something), I’ve heard child birth is painful and that terrifies me, so those thoughts are of an ephemeral nature. Too many children is completely out of the question…too many being three or more.

And then there was cooking class to seal the deal for all eternity.

Initially, I was stoked about my biggest turnout ever. Nine kids! I was all, “2013 has been great for Lo’s Kitchen and we are gaining more students with each passing week and blah blah woohoo blah!!!”

Then reality set in. That reality was that every single rascal apparently chugged a gallon of Redbull shortly before coming to class, and everybody was experiencing a simultaneous crazycrazycrazy surge that lasted the duration of class and then some. Seriously, I thought I was going to lose my head (my voice was already a hopeless cause).


Wild, uncontrollable savages from a forsaken jungle where children are mainlined sugar through constant IV drips. I thought about getting my tubes tied and I’m not even married yet.

Not that I have ever considered something as terror-inducing as producing nine children, but we will see if I can even muster up the courage to hold cooking class again next week much less have any sort of family in the future. I’m not even sure I’ll be able to eat mashed potatoes for a long time.


They look deceptively calm and orderly in these photos. NEVER TRUST PICTURES.Lo's Kitchen 003Lo's Kitchen 007Learning to use a vegetable peeler.

Lo's Kitchen 012Lo's Kitchen 014Knives were definitely not my wisest decision.

Lo's Kitchen 015Lo's Kitchen 016Mashed potato madness.

Lo's Kitchen 009NEVER.


One Response to “Lo’s Kitchen: Barbarians.”

  1. […] Speaking of such things as having children… […]

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