August 31, 2011

Shadowing classes at Harvard with K today while B attends his orientation. Consider me officially a snob.


Grace is sufficient.

August 21, 2011

True love…

It is a bit unnerving to me how easy life is right now. This morning I went to an all-you-can-eat seafood buffet (omg–tender salmon, sweet crab legs, and unlimited fresh oysters on the half shell) and then laughed my way down the Willamette River in a bright yellow raft with B, H, and H’s girlfriend C.

In general, my days are filled with Scrabble games, too large quantities of delicious food, a constant stream of HGTV, a smattering of hikes to breathtaking waterfalls, Happy Hours at kitschy Portland bars, and all the time in the world to spend with B. The toughest I have had it is discovering the hard way that I’m terrible at skimboarding, ripping my jeans after inadvertently stepping in a pothole, and being greeted at the airport with a giant sign of my most hideous picture (seriously, I look like I have a goiter). I know, my life is so rough.

Okay, so it has been a wonderful month of relaxation, just enough adventure, and plentiful rolls of soft toilet paper. In many ways, this makes me all the more nervous about my impending transition. I am anxious that I have turned into even more of a luxury princess having spent the month in a mansion, and I am afraid that I am just going to fail miserably at adjusting to life in Asuncion.

But honestly, more than my fear that a primitive outhouse awaits me, I am terrified that I just won’t be good enough. I mean, geez, I am moving to another continent to be a missionary, and that kind of conjures images of hoity toity spiritual maturity and general life togetherness that I know frankly are misguided but still scare the shit out of me.

Sometimes I say “shit,” I have been a little disillusioned about church* the last few months, and my time in the Word has been embarrassingly non-existent. I make poor decisions daily, my self-confidence is mediocre at best, and I can be scary judgmental too much of the time. I can be shy, overly introverted, standoff-ish, prideful, and defensive. And worst of all, I’m not particularly brave.

I am apprehensive that I will be too scared to take chances, that I won’t have any right answers, and that the full-time team is going to meet me and think, “This is who they sent us?!?!” and rush off to research return policies. But I guess in the end, that is exactly why God has chosen me. I will be scared, I won’t have the right answers, and I am sure I will disappoint many different people at some point, but as long as His power is made perfect in my weaknesses, I have reason to rejoice, to hope, and to look forward to the journey to come.

But still pray for me, dear friends. I am horrible about using too much toilet paper, and the extremity of this vice just might be beyond salvation.

*Okay, but the Sunday nights I have spent worshipping at Imago Dei here in Portland have been so refreshing to my soul.

The Countdown Continues…

August 16, 2011

We have basic cable and one television at home. Aside from snatches of the occasional Padres game, I can hardly be found on the couch consuming soap operas and C-SPAN.  Currently, I am spending the month in Oregon at B’s mansion, where they have almost every channel conceivable and I have been watching HGTV to an excess. Seriously. It is a little embarrassing.

House Hunters International is officially my favorite show ever. Minus the annoying couples they recruit to film, the lure of living in a beautiful house somewhere lovely in the world kills me every time. I cannot even count on one hand how many episodes B and I sat through yesterday. Ahem.

But really, wouldn’t it be awesome to move to a foreign country to live? OH WAIT.

Exactly one month from today, I will be lugging three massive suitcases (I know) onto three different flights (I know) to forge a new life in an unknown land. I am clearly not expecting luxury digs by any stretch, but I can’t help but continue counting down the days with great anticipation. The donated school supplies are piled high in my room, and I have already been asked to speak at a Ladies’ Tea in October. It is getting real. Major.

One month! Cheers!