Hate the Way You Lie

August 6, 2010

Eminem’s Love the Way You Lie video perplexes and enrages me. I feel it too ironic and impossibly foolish that Rihanna would participate in promoting the legitimization of physical abuse in a relationship (something of which she was purportedly a victim herself). But at the same time, I did not come away with the reassurance that the video  was communicating anything other than that. Am I missing something here?

Interlacing steamy scenes of scantily clad Megan Fox sexing it up with shots of her getting violently thrown around doesn’t exactly scream healthy relationship. And Rihanna seductively licking her lips while singing about it does not whisper it either. I don’t care if you are Megan Fox or Rihanna or Mike Tyson, sexualizing domestic violence is not hot. Erg.

I’d like to think that my day job as a social worker at an emergency shelter for victims of domestic violence and sexual assault demands my anger over the video. Going into work everyday is harrowing, and I am not even a victim. I am reduced to tears about every other night, and nine months into this venture, I feel haggard and my soul sucked dry.

Forty hours a week, I listen to individuals recount savage beatings and barrages of verbal abuse. I see lives ruined and sanity shattered. Most children, so vulnerable and prone to continuing the cycle of violence, remain in the system forever.

It is a population that is virtually invisible to the average life. Unlike what the more prominent community apparently thinks, there is nothing romantic, sexy, or remotely worth lauding about relationship violence. Do not get caught in that lie.

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One Response to “Hate the Way You Lie”

  1. Jen Says:

    I hate that song. And more honestly, I hate how catchy it is and how I sing along with it. Thanks for reminding me how not okay it is.


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